DaveJohn oneshots
by Pecandy
Summary: a few prompted smutshots of Dave/John, heavy on the kinks. big warnings for smut and language, more specific warnings at beginnings of each chapter when applicable.
1. spanking

**a/n: warnings for consensual spanking**

Dave Strider was a painslut, plain and simple. There was no other explanation for the sharp throb of pleasure he felt when John brought his open hand down hard on his rump, or the way he almost begged for more when his hand drew away.

"You like that, don't you?"

Dave gasps and writhes into John's leg. "Oh, fu-u-" he slams his hand down again and Dave keens.

"Rhetorical question, I knew you would." He pauses his slaps to unzip his pants, letting his hard cock out beside Dave's face. Dave doesn't have to be asked before he licks long and slow up John's balls, but apparently that's wrong today. John grabs his hair almost-but-not-quite too hard and shoves him over his dick. "No teasing, slut," John growls, and there's something in his tone that makes Dave's eyelids flutter. He wraps his lips over John, taking pride in the little moan he shudders out.

"Such a good cocksucker. Watch your fucking teeth, now," he warns, and brings his palm down.

Dave does, nearly yelling with the effort of keeping his mouth so open around John's girth. Another smack, on the side of his hip. "Keep going, you lazy dick." He starts to bob his head as best he can, moaning every time that hand makes delicious contact. It's starting to burn and Dave can feel his cock throb with a little pulse of its own.

After a few painful, blissful moments, John gasps and pulls Dave off. He spanks him hard, so hard, the pain is new and bright and Dave cries into John's thigh, tears stinging his eyes. But John pulls him up by the hair so he's facing his dick, still wet with spit. John's whispering "take it, take it, take it…" and jerking hard and fast and Dave takes it over his cheeks, his nose, his bangs when John cries out his name.

Dave is half out of his mind with overstimulation, and when the tight grip on his head loosens he lets out an embarrassing groan at the loss. John seems happy, though, and starts stroking Dave's hair with a smile. His fingers catch on a bit of come and he collects it, then presses it against Dave's lips. Dave opens up without hesitation and John rubs his come-coated thumb all over his tongue. "Perfect whore." Dave whimpers. "So good, let me spunk all over your pretty freckles, let me spank you pink," he says, watching as Dave's eyes droop when he shoves hard into his mouth. "Good whores gotta come, don't they?" His thumb vibrates with Dave's moan. "Hands and knees, babe."

Hazily, Dave gets into position. "Babe?"

He's rewarded with a smack that makes his hips buckle. "I'll call you whatever I want."

"Oh, fuck, yes-" Harder now, on his thighs.

"You're gonna feel this, tomorrow." Smack. "Every time you sit down." Smack. "You'll feel me." Smack, and John winds his hand down to Dave's prick and starts taking him apart. "I'll be with you, I'll be the one making it sting every time-" he brings his hand down again and Dave screams and comes in angry white spurts over the bedsheets.

John works him through it, finally spooning into him after he's stopped twitching. "Good?"

"Mmmm, good. You sure are a kinky fucker, Egbert," Dave says lazily. John just laughs and holds him tighter. Dave's really glad they're both naked because he's pretty sure any cloth on his ass would probably give him blisters or something. But this, this could work.


	2. petplay

John and Dave stumbled into John's pitch-black apartment at near four, just back from a night at the bars with Roxy and Dirk. Dave grabbed for the switch, knocking over a coat rack in the process but finally clicking the lights on, catching a smirk on John's face before he shut the door. As soon as the lock clicked shut, John turned around and took off his shoes, socks, and pants at once. He popped back, necklace jingling loudly, and leaned into Dave's ear.

"You made me sit in public," he said, not angry or concerned, but wondering. Like he'd never thought such a thing was possible.

"What else?" Dave pressed.

"And wear the collar." His voice was getting shaky against Dave's neck. "And heel, and talk, and com-me. And- and only _we_ knew-" Dave sucked at his neck, high and hard enough to leave a dark brown bruise, lingering after to feel John tremble under him. "Oh god, _master…_"

Dave had noticed John's blush deepening over the night with every discrete little hand signal he flashed to him- a peace sign and he sat down at the barstool. A flick of the wrist and he excused himself from whatever conversation he was having to stand at Dave's side. Over and over he obeyed as soon as he could. Dave was more than proud of his pet.

"On your knees." John sunk down without a word. "You were so good tonight, Johnny. So good." Dave pet the top of John's hair softly. John jumped up, pawing down Dave's pants and nuzzling his head against his cotton-clad crotch. He was never like this, he always waited for Dave's orders and never demanded- or even suggested- sex before it was offered it to him. He must have been really keyed up from the publicity thing. Discovered a kink he didn't know he had, or something like that. But that was no excuse for bad manners. "No. Down," Dave commanded. John whimpered and backed away, hanging his head down in embarrassment at displeasing his master.

"Are you hard from it, Johnny?" John moaned. "What do you want, baby? Hmm?" Dave saw him dig blunt teeth into his lip to keep from talking out of turn. "Speak."

"Anything, please, make me come master, please…" His boxers tented visibly.

"Take off your clothes, Johnny."

John hastily threw away everything but the necklace, which Dave threaded the through his fingers, tightening it around John's throat just tightly enough to force his focus. "Next time you'll wear a leather choker." John purred softly. "And maybe one day I'll have you take your special collar out. Under a hoodie, hidden." Dave smiled at the thought. "Or maybe, on top of a t-shirt. So everyone sees. I don't know, it'll depend on my mood." _Do we want to share this?_ Dave decided that was a conversation for later, when they were talking freely. John's breaths were racing, and didn't slow when Dave let up the little pressure he was exerting on the chain to get up.

In the kitchen, under the sink, beside the extra dish soap was where Dave kept his supply of John's-apartment lube. Little dork was too embarrassed to buy it himself. Dave could make him, all he had to do was say the words, but he didn't see the harm in taking care of this one small thing.

He came back to John fondling himself slowly on the floor. When their eyes met John blinked and arched into his fingers. _Touch me,_ he was begging. _I feel so good, look. Pet me._ Dave figured he more than deserved a reward for all he'd done tonight, and his skin looked just as soft and warm as ever.

Dave settled down on his knees beside John, and rubbed at his chest and stomach. He pressed his fingers over his arms, neck, and shoulders, and stayed for a long time at massaging and scratching his head. John was near purring in contentment in minutes, his eyes shut and a blessed-out expression on his face. Dave wondered if he needed the lube after all. After a few more minutes, he decided to make sure,

"Gonna get you off then ride your face. Okay?" he asked. Judging from the gasp and full-body tremor that wrenched from him, Dave guessed that yes that was an okay. He pumped some lube into his hand and started pumping John's cock, still scratching his head with his other hand, while rambling praises into John's ear.

John moaned and shivered and came over Dave's hand, and whined softly through his aftershocks. As soon as he regained control of his body, he lay flat on his back and opened his mouth.

_Such a good boy._


	3. edging

**a/n: warnings for consensual tied-up sex**

"Ha, take that, dickhole," Dave said when a few clicks on his controller laid a hidden blade into some goon's gut. John snickered quietly next to him. "You sure you don't wanna play? Here, take it." He paused and offered John the controller for the third time in fifteen minutes. The game may have been getting a little boring, but it was the day after it came out and Dave would never admit it after being so hyped up about it for months.

John smirked. "Dave. I seriously don't mind watching. Play it."

"Fi-i-ine, if you say so." He clicked the START and resumed stabbing a slew of guards, thinking in the back of his head of a few excuses to stop playing. Hunger? Massive, soul-crushing hunger for frozen pizza and lukewarm pop? Or, he could pretend he heard something outside, a raccoon or…

"Hey, Dave."

"What?"

"Ever been edged?"

Dave paused again. "What?"

"Edged?"

Dave blinked.

"Like. On a ledge?"

"No, edged. Like, sexually."

"Oh." He gulped. "No, can't say that I have."

John leaned in close to him and whispered in his ear. "I think you'll like it a lot more than this piece of crap."

Dave felt himself blush like a little schoolgirl, and cleared his throat. "Li-like, for how long?"

John licked his ear in response, and started sucking the skin under his lobe. His tongue moved to his neck and his palm started rubbing little circles over his groin.

"Okay yeah edging sounds great." He felt John smile against his neck.

"Safeword?"

"Oh, fuck." He was really serious. They were gonna have serious safeword sex.

"It should probably be something you don't say constantly," John crooned, pulling back.

"Sure, right, okay. Lemons. Lemons and now I'm never gonna say lemons again okay-"

"Well, go on then, we're not doing it in the living room." He grinned mischievously. "Can you imagine what would happen if my Dad walked in, and you were tied up and swollen and I was between your thighs and-"

Dave was out of the room before he could hear the rest of the sentence from fucking filthy-mouth Egbert.

Ten minutes later, Dave was naked and tied to John's bed with soft tubesocks, staring in awe as John pulled from his bedside table lube and a big, bright pink butt plug.

"John Marianne Egbert, what in the ever-loving fuck are you doing with _that_?" he asked, blinking. John rolled his eyes.

"What 'in the ever-loving fuck' do you think?" he asked, pressing the plug against Dave's hole gently.

"Right okay-" The toy pressed in a bit farther and burned. Dave jumped back. "Stop, are you serious? Not taking that dry, dude."

John smiled innocently. "Oh, I know. Just testing it out." Before Dave could think of a response John sunk between his legs and kissed his hips. He rubbed and scratched and licked his thighs, groin, taint, balls, carefully avoiding his dick until it felt hot and needy, stiff and begging for attention.

"Jo- please-" And there was that warm rough brush of his tongue sweeping up the length of his dick so fucking slowly he felt like he was drowning.

"Fu- f- oh, _fuuuuck John-_"

John repeated the move and Dave moaned, low and long in his throat. John opened up his mouth rubbed his soft mouth over the head before sucking. Dave's eyes rolled back and his hips bucked up and his arms jerked to grab John and hold on to his hair, but the soft cloth around his wrists held him in place. He whimpered helplessly and saw John eye's crinkle with a little smile before he took him deeper.

"Jesus, Egbert, that's perfect-" he sucked a few more inches down happily- "_oh, god-_" his voice cracked and John started doing that thing with his cheeks that felt like an inescapable vice of soft suction- "fuck, J-J- I'm-"

John opened his mouth and pulled off. Fast breaths raced through Dave's chest as he tried to calm down. "God, that was fast," John complained.

"Shut up," Dave gritted out. His eyes were just starting to unscrunch and when he opened them, John was licking his lips.  
"Yummy."

"Such a slut, jesus fucking Christ."

John pursed his lips. "Is that a bad thing?"

"Fuck, no, not a bad thing. Not at all- It's like, the best thing ever-"

"Good, good. Okay then." He hoisted Dave's legs up over his shoulders and Dave was completely supported by his arms, but he barely had time to think about that before he felt Johns tongue running up the soft skin between his legs. If he whimpered it was the manliest whimper ever, because his fucking cutesey-ass boyfriend was eating him out while he was tied to the bed. Really, it wasn't his fault.

John licked and licked at his hole, occasionally flicking the hardened spear of his tongue inside but never enough to penetrate the tight ring, just enough to tease, make him want _more,_ and Dave was begging out loud because John was being ridiculous, drawing it out way too long-

He pushed in and Dave's thoughts stopped for a second before his mouth started thinking for him.

"Fuck John oh shit your fucking tongue- shitfuck oh my jesus- oh, fuck how are- oh, _yes- _fuckyes, yes-_ fuck- fu- fu-u-u-"_ John pulled back a second too soon and for the second time and Dave whined.

"Mmm, Dave," John's voice wobbled. Dave groaned when he saw John- shivering and so hard he was tenting his pants, blushing so bright Dave thought he could see his pulse beat through his cheeks.

"Dave Dave Dave."

"What?"

"Are you a porn star?"

"What the fu-"

"Are you?"

"N- no?"

"Fuck. You should. Everyone should hear it, the sound you make when you're being eaten out."

"Everyone?" Dave raised his eyebrow.

"Well, me. And everyone, if you want. But mostly me, a lot."

"Better."

John started pouring some slick, clear-pink lube on his fingers. "It's apple, ready for round three?

Dave's head fell back on the pillow. "Yeah. How much longer…?"

"Just two more! But no break in between."

"How is that even…" The smirk on John's face cut him off.

"You'll see!"

He drizzled some of the lube over Dave's ass, the cool, sticky sweet fake-apple ambrosia wafting up to his nose and making him dizzy. Fingers, pressing, rubbing and massaging not pressing in yet, until he felt all the tension leave him. He spread his legs and head a snarky little victory-laugh from John's end, dork.

The first finger slipped right in and Dave yelped with the suddenness of it. Slowly, John rocked in and out, over and over, crooking against that spot that made everything bright and big and urgent. Dave told him just how good it felt, how much he loved his mouth and his fingers and him. Then there was a second finger, and a third, and finally that hard silicon plug. This time, though, it felt wonderful; like wet, firm velvet, tapered just right oh god it was stretching him open- widening just big enough before tapering off, getting sucked in and pressing against his prostate firmly. Dave made a choked sound and swore. It was so big, so obviously _there_, oh fuck-

John pressed it in and out just a little and Dave's face went slack. "Oh god oh fucking god what the fuck I can't- I can't fucking John I fucking can't it's-" He felt John's hand repeat the motion and he saw sparks, and it felt wonderful, fucking perfect-

"Stop," Dave sobbed.

John stilled. "Shit, sorry- I thought you'd be fine, I didn't-"

"It's fine, just stop. Dammit."

"I _am_ stopped."

"Hnnn, fuck." His balls felt heavy, drooping down with their weight and so full and god he'd been hard for so long, and the pressure against his prostate never let up and it was taking every bit of his willpower to not blow. Fuck, it wasn't working, he couldn't anymore he couldn't do it- "I have to come."

John pouted. "But two rounds, you agreed."

"No no god that was two, wasn't it?" John shook his head. "Nooooo, that was two, come on- I can't do it I can't anym- m- mo-" he broke into a moan when John gripped the base of his cock for a few painful moments before jerking him off, fast and firm and just how he liked it. "Oh fuck thank you thank you you're amazing, baby-" and the hand stilled. Dave felt tears sting his eyes. "Noooooo, no no no no John stop this, I can't-"

"Remember your word?"

Dave blushed.

John laughed and smacked his thigh lightly. "Begging get you off, Dave?"

The heat in Dave's cheeks flamed and he looked away.

"And you call _me _a slut."

"John, _please_..."

"I can suck you in a few minutes or fuck you now."

Dave didn't think before the words flew from his mouth. "Fuck me now you fucking asshole why would you even ask?!"

"Ho-kay." He pulled the plug out, making Dave shiver all over and moan out loud. Everything felt so intense- the starchy sheets against his skin, John's hairy calf brushing over his as he leaned over for a condom, the soft bindings on his wrists starting to burn. All John would have to do is breathe on his cock and he'd be shooting like a rocket but he didn't want that. He wanted what was coming to him, and moaned and whimpered in anticipation as John slowly pulled the plug out and replaced it with his dick.

For a second, it was a bit too big, a little uncomfortable. But the sensation disappeared before Dave could even think to ask John to wait, and then John started moving. Dave gasped and just had a chance to glimpse at the way John's face twisted up in pleasure over his before the sensation of being totally _fucked_ hit him. Three quick pumps of John's hips and already Dave felt that clicking in his gut.

"Oh god oh my fucking god, John- fuck there, yes, oh shit- I'm coming- I'm coming now, you're making me come oh je- J- _oh-_"

Everything was gone, blissfully nothing but the overwhelming pleasure crashing through his head, chest, toes, everywhere, never stopping. It was almost too much but no, it was perfect and John thrust so hard and deep and relentlessly that just as it started to fade away, another bump to his prostate made it kick back up, even stronger and longer than before. He was dying. Dave Strider was fucking dying from John's dick.

"You're not dying," Dave felt something soft- hand? palm? lips?- pet his thigh but he couldn't stop spasming. "Just coming a fuckton, wow, I wish I was recording that." He kept thrusting until Dave relaxed, then pulled out and started jerking off over him.

"Can we do that again?"

"Mmmmm."

"Dave?"

"Mmm…?"

"Are you okay?" His hand sped up on his dick. Dave reached forward, _I can help you know_ but the socks caught him. So he just watched John's face slowly twist up into that funny, gorgeous contortion of his features.

"Uhnn, yeah."

"Nice, ten-point vocab," John said, panting.

Dave smirked and looked down at his stomach, realizing the cold spot he'd been feeling was two grossly huge loads of jizz. "Come on me."

"Oh, _fuck-_" John came with a high-pitched groan, adding to the nasty-ass soup cooking on Dave's skin before falling on top of him. The wet spot on their stomachs squished together but John just grabbed Dave's face and kissed his mouth slow and sweet like dripping honey. Dave only pulled back when the urge to hold John became too much to bear.

"Untie me."

"What if I don't?"

"God, you're a huge fuckin' perv, aren't you?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Cuz you're so goddamn cute, that's why. Like a teddy bear or something."

"Haha. That's sweet, Dave, really. Do teddy bears masturbate to fantasies of tying up their best friends and shoving plugs up his ass? Hmm?"

Dave blinked. "Yeah, but, um. We're… more than friends now, aren't we?"

"Duh." He kissed Dave's forehead softly. "But we weren't the first time I started thinking about it."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"So that-"

"Yeah."

Dave let that sink in for a moment. "Wow. Untie me right now."

"Okay." John leaned forward over the bedpost.

"Got any more fantasies you wanna share while you're back there?" he joked as John fumbled with the cloth behind him.

"Next time, yeah." Dave's arm thudded down to the mattress as soon as the knot came undone, then the other. He wrapped them around John and kissed his neck.

"Wanna hear 'em all."


	4. watersports

**a/n warnings: consensual watersports, dom/sub, humiliation**

John texts Dave to come over after work to watch movies with him. AKA putting a movie on and making out on the couch, and spending the night if neither of them had anything to do the next morning. Dave shows up at John's apartment at 7:08 with The Proposal (John's choice) and a chocolate bar.

John seems especially rowdy, barely waiting to press play on the title screen to nestle up beside Dave and kiss his neck, and suck his neck, and- _oh god-_palming his dick before Reynolds even makes an appearance. Dave gives up on the movie and grabs John's shoulders, pins him to the couch and smashes his lips to his. John responds right away, meeting Dave's tongue and sucking it into his mouth, and pushing his feet and legs against Dave's butt to for more contact.

Dave pulls away when he runs out of breath, and instead licks the shell of John's ear. "You wanna do somethin' about that?" He licks and kisses down, then bites the bright-red bruise he's sucked onto John's neck. John whimpers and clenches him tighter.

"Well, yeah," he says. "Sir." _Okay so we're doing that okay I fucking love that good this is good._ "One thing before though, piss on me, okay?" And then he snaps his mouth shut and looks into Dave's eyes expectantly. _O-kay then_.

"Get on my bed. Take your shirt off and wait for me." John kisses Dave again, lightly, and Dave lets him go before he gets distracted. He needs a minute- he clicks the tv off and stares at the wall- to come up with a plan. The best sessions have always had a plan. And after a few minutes, he has one.

He opens the door and finds John laying shirtless on his bed. There's extra towels under the sheets, lube and condoms next to the pillow. "Good boy," Dave whispers, and pets the side of John's face. He looks so different without his glasses, his eyes so big and trusting. "Touch yourself for me."

John immediately palms his crotch, and Dave smacks his thigh. "Not there."

Gasping, John wrenches his hands back to the flesh of his torso and runs his fingers up and down. "Here, sir?"

"Yes. Use your nails." He scratches himself. "Harder." He digs in a little, but not enough. Dave wants to see lines. He brings his hand down again. "I said harder." John groans and _there_ it is, bright pink claw marks trailing sweetly down. "Take your pants off."

John's hands are shaking a little and it takes him longer than usual to undo his zip. He leaves on his boxers until Dave nudges him with his foot, then slides right off. "Hold your legs open." He does. He's blushing deep red, still self-conscious. _I'll take care of that,_ Dave thinks. He picks up the lube from beside the pillow and drizzles some over John's ass, making him jerk back with cold.

"Will you finger yourself for me?" he asks, but it isn't really a question.

John's fingers are at his ass before he responds, "yes sir." He presses one, then two in right away.

"Little slut." John hums. "Who's little slut are you?" he asks, trailing cool fingertips over John's balls.

"Y-yours, sir." John pushes his fingers deeper.

"Say it all."

"I'm your little slut, sir." His voice cracks and Dave can see that hazy glint in his eyes.

"What do you want, slut?" Dave asks, just to be sure.

"I want what you want, sir," John whimpers. _Gone._

"Good," Dave says, and tries to calm himself enough to piss on his boyfriend. _Old ladies grapefruit parties Bro and Granny Crocker banging_- and Dave feels the something his groin _go_ and sighs in relief. "Because that's exactly what you'll get. And nothing else."

The stream hits John's chest and splatters everywhere, and John starts shuddering with full-body force. _Too close, way too close too soon_. Dave knows from eternal-masturbation-fodder experience that John could come from pretty much anything- dirty talk, nipple play, breath, giving head. Pissing would be one of the more physical orgasms he'd seen from him.

"Don't come," he demands, and John clenches up his face in concentration. Dave stills the stream and listens to John's breathing until it calms. "I wanna finish pissing on you. And then I want to fuck you into the mess." John makes a sudden, high-pitched sound. "You can come then. But not now." And Dave starts again, trying valiantly to control the flow and not get hard. But the way John's squirming around in it is making that fucking difficult.

By the time Dave's done, he has John moaning shamelessly in a puddle of his filth. Dave drops to his knees and starts beating himself off, hard in barely a dozen strokes, grabs a condom and puts it on as fast as he can without letting it show just how fucking badly he needs this.

Dave grabs John's leg and raises it up, and presses his cock over his pucker. John fists the sheets. "Want it?"

"S-sir- I- I? I-" he sounds so confused. Dave feels kind of mean for making John think right now, but he wants to hear him beg more. And John wants what he wants, he said so himself.

"Do you want my dick in you?" He's waiting for that magic word.

"Yes, sir- sir- I do_…" _Dave just rubs back and forth, and John's asshole starts twitching against him. "_Please, sir-" _AndDave enters him in one quick stroke. John screams.

Dave isn't fast or slow, but rather finds a steady pace he can keep up for hours. And now that he's finally getting some pressure on his dick, he's able to concentrate on thinking up more fun things to do with John. Like massaging the piss into his coffee-coloured skin; or bringing wet fingers to his mouth and ordering him to suck; or sucking the back of his knee and telling him to piss himself. And listening to those _sounds _he makes as he does it all without hesitation.

John comes in the middle of pissing and Dave feels it all splash against him- pee on his stomach, come on his chest, pee on his neck (he grabs John's dick and directs the stream _like a firehose, jesus _to his stomach again) and Dave comes after processing that _John peeing himself made him come._

After a few moments of bliss, Dave comes to with John staring blankly at him. They're both soaked with various fluids and Dave's starting to feel clammy. He kisses John's mouth and realizes he's tasting his own piss, but he doesn't care. "Come on baby, let's take a shower. Okay?"


End file.
